


the warmest summer night

by IDontGiveA



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Delusions, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Regret, Sad, Summer Vibes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 08:56:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19422694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IDontGiveA/pseuds/IDontGiveA
Summary: of rooftop-rendezvous and missed chances.





	the warmest summer night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: underage smoking & drug abuse mentioned. Delusions & depressive thoughts mentioned. Characters are 16ish in this story

"Anyways, I kept thinking about it in the shower…a-and I’m still pretty sure I’d prefer having ten thumbs over none at all, simply because…” Tweek cut himself off abruptly, realising that his visitor already dozed off.

“Nevermind” he whispered to himself, just to get the personal satisfaction out of (unofficially) ending their previous discussion about the necessity of having thumbs. Craig had come to the realisation that they were quote-on-quote “fucking lame and nobody does things with only their thumbs anyway, dude”. Tweek, however, already felt _very_ uncomfortable even thinking of having anything less than ten fingers, no matter which ones.

The blonde boy tiptoed into his room and carefully closed the door behind him. It was mid-July and not a single cloud to be seen that night – or the previous ones for that matter – meaning that stargazing-season had officially started. The nearly perfect weather conditions gave the boys the opportunity to leave the windows open at night. In South Park, open windows were what _really_ made summer and every citizen was aware of that fact.

It was due to these summers bringing quite the change of scenery to the small, worn-out town: soft wind breezes, drunken slurs from the fat old neighbour, relaxing cricket sounds, the nastiest cat fights or the sweet sounds of late-night exhibitionism down the street.

Nonetheless, these sleepovers had become some sort of ritual over the past few months Tweek and Craig had been officially dating. After some convincing and flipping each other off, Craig’s parents eventually came around to the idea, and as far as Tweek was concerned, his parents were already over the moon about him even having such close friends, let alone a boyfriend. They’d always known that their son was somewhat one of a kind in a world where people usually settled for the basic. In fact, the blonde boy had a history of not being given the time of the day, being labelled as over-sensitive, a spaz, a freak, an overthinker, and just an overall anxious, self-destructive piece of shit. But no, not by Craig.

Back then, Craig couldn’t have cared less about what people thought of Tweek, of him, or of one another. In fact, he didn’t give a flying fuck about the blonde twitch at that time. He mostly hung out with his friends, commonly referred-to as “Craig and those guys” by Cartman, which didn’t involve Tweek. They spent several hours together in school, Monday ‘til Friday, and sometimes on weekends – which was about as much bro-time as Craig could handle. He loved to be alone, he needed it for his sanity. People could be such a fucking pain in the ass sometimes.

It wasn’t until they got paired in a physics project that Craig even took notice of jitterbug himself, and several nights of talking about space-themed conspiracy theories on one of their roofs before they eventually grew closer. Until then, the only things Craig (kinda) took responsibility for were whatever guinea pig he had at the time and sometimes Tricia, but solely whenever their “deal” would come up. It was simple: He’s doing her homework once or twice a week as long as she’s not snitching to their parents about him smoking weed. Back when they agreed on it, both of them definitely thought it was a win on their behalf.

The quite tempting rooftop meetings grew in occurrence.

There was just something about it that neither of the boys managed to pinpoint – about sneaking out at night, meeting someone you only used to know by sight a few weeks back, someone you can be open with, someone you don’t owe shit and they don’t owe you shit either. No strings attached. Kinda like a meeting with Alcoholics Anonymous, actually.

It took Craig some time to get used to Tweek but man, his own apathy beat that on any day, no doubt. However, during their talks Tweek really opened up to someone for the first time in a while, slowly but he did. On the roof, their thoughts were flowing freely and needless to say, Craig got carried away – and his façade of a careless loner with him.

In other words, Craig fell in love with what was so exhausting and annoying for most people, he cherished what others purposely ignored, he was almost greedy to hear more of the tales which were Tweek’s thoughts – something other people had told him to shut up about many times prior.

Their rooftop encounters became every other day, became every night. Homie-handshakes became hugs, became even longer hugs, eventually became kisses. Tweek’s stutter slowly began to vanish and Craig’s empathy suddenly grew. The hours and the seasons seemed to fly by, too fast for lovers to grasp – even on nights where silence was their only companion.

In other words, it had been a great fucking time to be alive.

Their first kiss happened at City Wok. Not exactly the most romantic or private (since it’s always well-stocked during lunchtime and Kenny was still working there occasionally) location, but they didn’t actually care. When Craig cracked his fortune cookie, the little note read: “Life is too short to miss out, take a chance when you see it”.

He glanced at Tweek who was nervously fumbling with his own fortune cookie. That note was the sign Craig had been waiting for. _Now or never, Tucker_ , he thought to himself _._

He leaned over and aligned their lips. To Craig’s surprise, Tweek didn’t freak out – okay, maybe a little bit.

Also, Craig swore he heard Kenny cheering somewhere in the back.

Although that may have come across as the Mary Sue of gay love tales, Craig was actually struggling a lot while coming to terms with his sexuality. Up to that point, he had been deadass sure about being no-homo for life, and at times where he’d try to get it on with a girl and his dick bailed on him, he blamed it on some made-up erectile-dysfunction bullshit. Funny thing was that the girls believed him, and he even managed to fool himself. _That must be it,_ he reassured himself. That, or maybe he was asexual.

Both theories were proven wrong, however, when Tweek’s hand happened to be in the right spot at the right time during one of their rooftop-meetings. (Sadly, Tweek had a full-on panic attack right after feeling Craig’s boner.)

\---

After remaining at the same spot for a few minutes like he was glued to it, Tweek quietly snuck over to the bed and lied down next to Craig, whose face was highlighted by the moonbeams and the countless stars. They only seemed an arm’s length away whenever you’d look closely enough. Thankfully, Craig was a deep sleeper and didn’t mind Tweek tossing and turning. It was going to be one of those fucking insomnia-ridden nights again.

He decided to turn over and watch Craig a little, since he appeared to be too asleep right now to argue again about how creepy it was. Creepy or not, it helped Tweek a lot – seeing his boyfriend’s face all relaxed, his ribcage raising and lowering, slowly and steadily, distant breaths in, distant breaths out, some mumbling in-between. Tweek silently hoped that Craig’d only dream of happiness tonight – it’s what he deserved the most.

The staring only lasted for so long before Tweek noticed that Craig had once again forgotten to take off that damn chullo, which he even wore during the hottest summer days – “just because he can”. Trying his best to hold his breath, Tweek carefully took it off and put it on the nightstand, revealing a dark, thick, messy thatch. He reached for it, stopped himself, but then reached for it again.

Tweek began to caress his boyfriend’s hair, softly ran his fingers through the dark strands, twirling them around his index finger, glance wandering off towards the stars. Tweek liked the feeling of Craig’s soft hair, helped him postpone the anxiety for a little while.

Tweek got so lost in the moment that he didn’t even notice Craig waking up to his caressing.

“Can’t sleep again, honey?” he asked into the silence and immediately startled Tweek out of his thoughts. The boy recoiled and let out a small squeak. Despite embarrassing himself and opening up to Craig multiple times throughout their relationship, Tweek still hated every time it happened.

“Not really” – he eventually sighed, tugging his falsely buttoned shirt slightly – “Y-you were already asleep when I got back into the room, so…” he continued while trying to grasp an explanation. Craig sat up and ran his fingers through his matted strands.

“So you decided to watch me sleeping” he finished Tweek’s sentence slightly provocatively, dark eyes pinned on his counterpart as if he was some sort of prey, voice nasally as ever. Tweek started panicking because sometimes he still didn’t quite know when or how to interpret Craig’s sarcasm. He held his breath, blushing intensifying.

Craig got dangerously close to the other one’s face, noses almost touching, and right before Tweek was about to explode…

“You little creep”, he whispered sharply and narrowed his eyes for some extra drama, only a few seconds before falling back on the bed, unable to suppress his laughter any longer. Tweek blew out the air he was holding in and threw himself onto Craig, creating a decent mixture of an a little too over-the-top pillow fight and tickling the hell out of each other.

“Okay, dude stop!” Craig laughed gasping for air, waving an imaginary flag of truce.

They had completely run out of breath and lied next to each other, calming down, stomachs and faces hurting from all the laughter. However, if someone were to take a picture, it would make a good after-sex-selfie.

They keep quiet in the darkness, the heavy breathing slowly became softer and more balanced, looks pinned to the ceiling. Craig turned over and looked at Tweek, grabbing his hand gently.

“How about we climb on the roof again, for old time’s sake? It’ll make you calm down and you’ll fall asleep easier. You always did, remember?”

Tweek remembered, smiling while walking down memory lane in his head. Once they started seeing each other regularly, Craig would often make up shitty excuses to his parents so that he could stay longer. He found comfort in little things, such as helping Tweek fall asleep or stargazing. He finally had found something he could look forward to, something worth getting out of bed, something allowing him to leave behind his drab life.

“How could I forget?” the blonde answered and squeezed Craig’s hand a little.

“…Craig?”

Tweak looked behind to see his very own stars looking right at him. Craig had his legs spread with Tweek sitting in-between, sort of using Craig’s upper body as a backrest. His height was something really beneficial for the relationship – making Craig a suitable mattress, companion at concerts, person who’d get Tweek’s favorite coffee mug from all the way back in the cupboard – or said backrest when they were on the roof again.

Craig had his arms swung over Tweek’s shoulders loosely, face dug in the crook of his counterpart’s neck, keeping his favourite hands warm. Soft wind breezes and the bright moon accompanied the two boys alongside distant nature sounds.

“Yeah?” he muffled with his eyes closed, not bothering to look up. A few seconds of silence followed and Tweek nervously chewed on his bottom lip.

“I just wanted to thank you… for just ..being there… a-and all” he started a little hesitantly, cheeks starting to heat up. That’s when Craig sat up properly and looked at his boyfriend, while the blonde tried his best to avoid any eye-contact. 

“I know I stress out a lot… a-a-and sometimes my anxiety is getting to me- to US!” he sputtered nervously, letting go of Craig’s warm hands in order to gesture while speaking. Tucker just stayed quiet, he knew Tweek would continue at his own pace.

“But you, _-nggh-_ you always seem to find a way to take away some pressure a-and even though it’s like really scary that you know-kn-know me so well…” he stopped himself to catch his breath, when he suddenly dared to look up at Craig again.

“It’s also so calming…having someone who makes living in this hellhole a lot easier, you know” Tweek looked at him through long lashes, relieved to have finally said all that.

“I know what you mean, I have someone like that as well” Craig answered with a small smile, surprised by his own smoothness, and Tweek reciprocated.

“I…I love you” he suddenly sputtered and grabbed Craig’s hand again in excitement, waiting for an immediate answer, some kind of re-affirmation. Craig was taken by surprise, to say the least. They’ve never said anything close to those words before.

“You know you sound pretty gay, right?”

Craig tried to joke, already thinking about slapping himself in the face for the fact that out of all the things he could’ve answered, he chose to pick the dumbest option.

_Fear of having gone too far too quickly._

_Fear of having put Craig off._

_Next, fear of the unknown, of Craig not reciprocating._

_Fear that their relationship was a lie, one-sided, that Tweek felt something and Craig didn’t._

Fear that was so heavy, Tweek felt strangled by it, like his heart skipped a beat – a few beats actually.

Tweek started tearing up.

Craig wanted to explain himself, but the feeling of running out of breath before even saying something made it impossible. He didn’t know how to handle the overwhelming feeling, when suddenly, it all went blurry and dull.

\---

“Craig? Jesus, come on!”

The voice coming from the distance was too high, even for Tweek.

“Oh goddammit” he could hear someone hiss and when he opened his eyes, Tweek was gone. Tricia rolled her eyes at the sight of her brother waking up, and checked her phone.

“Mom and Dad told me to look for you cause you weren’t in your room” she explained, voice monotone. It took Craig a minute.

_Shit._

It was the very moment he once again realised how messed-up his real life and his real relationships were. That all good things in life were temporary, and that ultimately, they leave you with absolutely nothing to hold onto.

The ache which shot through Craig’s chest area was sharp, but somehow familiar.

“Figured you’d be up here, smoking pot again” Tricia went on and Craig realised that she was still standing there.

“Fuck off, I didn’t smoke pot” he lied, flipping her off. She reciprocated.

It was the moment Craig realised that it was all just a dream. In fact, it was the same, re-occurring dream that’s been haunting him ever since the very day it had become Craig’s reality.

_He said it._

_He said it out loud although it took him all his bravery, although it made him feel exposed and anxious. And you just ruined it, you couldn’t do it, Tucker, I mean look at you. What a fucking pussy._

Craig’s body started to tense a bit as he tried to get rid of the toxic thoughts. Goddammit, he could really use a good smoke right now.

Tricia had already left when the first tear ran down his cheek, like ice melting on soft, tanned skin.

He quickly wiped it away, more aggressively than he had intended to, picking up his phone, calling in his desperation but it went straight to voicemail, reminding him of the fact that Tweek had changed his number a long time ago, that he moved away from South Park with his parents, probably even to another state.

It reminded him that they weren’t sweet 16 anymore, that he never looked Tweek in the eyes again after they broke up, that all of their rooftop meetings nowadays happened separately. That words or silence can be the death of something great so quickly, and you can’t take them back and sometimes, you can’t even apologize because you’ve fucked all the trust and all the love that someone gave you right in the ass. Without lube. And surely without consent.

Craig sighed.

He started looking for some more weed or a leftover cigarette in the pockets of his oversized jacket.

Sometimes he wondered if Tweek ever sat on a roof and though about him, thought about him during a warm summer night like this one, unable to enjoy it. If Tweek ever had the urge to call him, if he ever started crying because he couldn’t, if Tweek ever gets this lonely these days. _Probably_ – Craig tried to calm himself while searching for a lighter – but that thought won’t give him that moment back either. That sweet, sweet moment right before he messed up. But now Tweek’s gone and everything and everyone is shit, this town is shit, life’s shit.

Or maybe… maybe he didn’t even really love Tweek after all and his toxic thoughts were right all along. Maybe he knew in the back of his head that they were still faking it but ended up convincing himself that it was real because Tweek’s ass can be _hella_ persuasive. Because if it was forreal, he would’ve just said “I love you” back, right? _That’s what normal fucking people’d do, right?_

He lit his last cigarette and took a drag, praying his dad left some more on the living-room table.

That thought was really the worst of them all.

All these months gone by since Tweek left, but that thought was still too much for him, so he usually avoided it the best he could. And Craig was good at avoiding things, so much so that he’d completely pushed Tweek away and made him miserable, probably scarred the boy for life.

When he put the lighter back into his pocket, he felt something in there. He pulled out a crinkled, dirty piece of paper, which seemed unrecognisable at first until he unfolded and smoothed it out a bit.

_“Life is too short to miss out, take a chance when you see it”_

He held the piece of paper for a while, tighter than necessary. Pictures started appearing in his mind’s eye, audio joining shortly after.

\---

_Another summer night, another rooftop-rendezvous._

_Craig felt the soft, warm wind breezes. He felt the silence, all the previous noises had stopped, or maybe Craig cut them out on purpose – what matters anyway, except for Tweeks words?_

_The blonde looked right at him, almost piercing his eyes with his own ever so shining glance which was relentless, yet so innocent it could break hearts._

_“I love you” and a soft hand squeezed his own in excitement of finally breaking the secret. The memories of Tweeks anxious facial expression, they were in the past now. Craig knew what to do._

_He didn’t feel overwhelmed or helpless this time._

_“I love you too” he let out almost hastily, voice hoarse and shaky, tearing up as all the weight finally seemed to fall off his chest – or maybe because in the back of his head, he knew that all this was just an illusion, a distant dream, chances of it happening long gone._

\---

More and more tears started racing down his cheeks battling for first place, snot joined as well. Craig didn’t cry often, but oh boy was he a mess when he did. All his tears blurred Tweeks face, all his sobbing muted Tweeks voice. Craig mumbled those four words to himself repeatedly, almost as if he’s fallen into a trance, body sprawled-out on the roof, trembling heavier than ever. He stretched out his arm, Tweek slipping through his fingers while everything faded and faded until Craig was left alone with the dark sky and the ever so intriguing stars. He completely zoned out, giving all the tears and feelings permission to crawl out of their cage.

He didn’t notice a mild breeze blowing away the note from the fortune cookie as he kept on sending mumbled apologies into the void, voice quivering. It eventually got lost in the darkness, future-Craig hoping that maybe, with a little luck from the universe, it will find its way to Tweek’s new roof.

Until then, the nights on the roof will be spent alone. Crying, getting high and hating yourself for it.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3  
> feedback always appreciated hehe
> 
> also follow my sp art account on insta: @kaezue


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